phoenixonwheels:

digitaldiscipline:

derinthemadscientist:

insomniac-arrest:

movies about apocalypses: it’s every man for himself!! you can’t trust anyone, it’s a wasteland of solo travelers and sad families, we’re alone out here

humans irl: *pack bond with strangers*

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*pack bond with large carnivores*

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*pack bond with robots in space thousands of miles away*

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Apocalypse preppers who fantasise about all our artificial rules and governments falling away in times of chaos seem to forget that we invented those rules and governments. Over and over. When you put humans near each other, they group up and make a society; that’s why those  governments exist. Do they think we magically stop doing that in dangerous situations? Because… we don’t.

hopepunk doesn’t have time for your racist doomsday hard-on, carl.

I once helped a complete stranger care for her infant on a bus ride across two states. We took turns so we both got sleep. We bonded over the fact we were a similar age, sitting next to each other, and both on this ridiculously long bus ride because we were broke. The fact we were different races wasn’t a factor?

Two guys I couldn’t even communicate with because I was in a foreign country and didn’t speak the language once pushed my car out of a snowbank. Another time a bilingual complete stranger helped me catch the right train when I couldn’t read the signs because I didn’t speak the language.

Humans naturally help other humans.

(via syntactition)

vampireapologist:

One of my favorite thing I’ve learned about animals studies is that you should avoid using colorful leg bands when you’re banding birds because you can accidentally completely skew the data because female birds prefer males with colorful bands

Apparently if you put a red band on a male red wing blackbird his harem size can double

So like you can completely frick up the natural reproduction of a group of birds by giving a guy a bracelet so stylish that females CANNOT resist him

(via mark-watney-spacepirate)

trashboat:

thbstvrdthmtlbndndntn:

i deleted tumblr off my phone cuz i was going through airport security but now I can’t remember my password so I don’t have it on my phone anymore and I never come on

checking my blog after seeing the TSA agents handling my phone

me: hey what the fuck

my blog: 

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(via mark-watney-spacepirate)

adrasteiax:
““Margaret Atwood, from Eating Fire in “Selected Poems I: 1965-1975″
” ”

adrasteiax:

Margaret Atwood, from Eating Fire in “Selected Poems I: 1965-1975″

(via jewishcap)

sixthrock:

horrormavenwescraven:

horrormavenwescraven:

horrormavenwescraven:

also i got a tiny rubber baby for 95¢

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my son

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is your dad a tragic 19th century French author

(via mark-watney-spacepirate)

johnnyjoestarrelatable:

me @ my cat: baby enjoy toy. mommy buy for you. enjoy entertainment baby

cat: fuck you. give me more crumpled starbucks receipts

(via mark-watney-spacepirate)

zzzmoochthebear:

the-absolute-best-gifs:

This was seriously the best prank

One my favorite pranks

(via mark-watney-spacepirate)

lunaaltare:

brownvampire:

lunaaltare:

brownvampire:

why do white girls on here nut so hard for persephone and hades anyway like medea is right there

i thot this said madea i was about to kill myself

LUNA SSHSJGTSIDKLFGL

madea seconds before killing zeus (detail) (oil on canvas)

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(via mark-watney-spacepirate)

libertarirynn:

naijabutterfly:

thehighpriestofreverseracism:

viachia:

meccadelic:

It’s Uncanny Lisa!😂

He looked like he wanted to laugh and die at the same time lmao

im fucking weak

this dude is pure professionalism - ain’t no way i coulda maintained my face OR my tone 

“Thanks to the sketch, no doubt” bruh😂😂😂

(Source: twitter.com, via mark-watney-spacepirate)

lolawashere:

Those were 2.20 minutes well spent!

(Source: twitter.com, via mark-watney-spacepirate)

hlywtr:

nojgli:

levelnine:

sometimes you’re so depressed and there’s only one person who can get you through it and his name is john mulaney

Did you mean Jensen Ackles?

i really didn’t

(via mark-watney-spacepirate)